THE MORMON BOY BLOG » Confessions of a Mormon Boy

Am I Being a Victim?

Steven Fales — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 17:37:10 +0000

I am not a victim. When I feel self-pity creep in, I have to remind myself of this. One of the personal blessings of telling my story is that I get to ask myself each time I perform Confessions of a Mormon Boy, “Am I living up to what I am saying?” The climax of the play is the following. It is my personal constitution. I have performed this now well over 500 times:

“Could I give up being ‘right’ about my stories about the Church, therapists, the gay scene, Emily, her parents, my mother and especially my dad? Could I stop being a victim? Something deep inside me said ‘Yes!’ And in that moment, I was free. Free to choose. I had millions of choices! I was free to stop looking for my father’s love and money in the penthouses of New York, free to stop self-destructing, and free to start cleaning up my messes . . . ”

Not being a victim is a daily choice. And thank goodness I’m seeing the wisdom in valuing progress over perfection. And thank goodness I have friends who will not allow me to be a victim for long. I cannot do this alone. Asking for help is the first step in not being a victim.

Evergreen International (or EverQueen)

Steven Fales — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 04:42:18 +0000

From the book Confessions of a Mormon Boy: Behind the Scenes of the Off-Broadway Hit:

The first thing I did when we got to Utah, after finding a decent apartment for my little family, was to join Evergreen International. That’s the official unofficial ministry for gay Mormons. I wanted to start associating with other strugglers who belonged to the “true church.” They should call it EverQueen. I had never seen more rainbows, earrings, or tight jeans in my life! I volunteered to play the piano for the opening hymn and we had a devotional on sexual addiction. Then we divided into groups where everyone told their titillating stories of sex-behind-their-wife’s-back that week. A hunky guy in short shorts came sauntering into the room late. This other guy leaned over to me and said, “Las time he was here he was caught giving this other guy a blow job right here on the church grounds!” I left the meeting disgusted, alone, and vowed never to return. I was far too advanced in my recovery for this crowd. And way to busy to join their basketball team.

Mr. and Mrs. Kucan

Steven Fales — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 04:18:57 +0000

I was recently performing Confessions of a Mormon Boy in Las Vegas where I went to Junior High and High School. My ninth grade English teacher was Mrs. Kucan. She was the first person in my life to suggest that I might have a natural affinity/propensity for the stage. She suggested I might like to be part of a local community theatre group called The Rainbow Company. It is still thriving today. But I declined. My parents would not support it. What a kind and beautiful soul. And she’s always had the same short white pixy haircut. (Hmmmm. I wonder who that might remind me of later?)

Then when I was in eleventh grade I had a dynamic, rabble-rouser English teacher named Mr. Kucan. I still have the papers I wrote in his class. Such great controversial topics he’d give us to write on. He introduced me to Hamlet.

I had some surprisingly exceptional teachers in High School. I was blessed. Clark High School and my honors classes were an oasis of culture in culturally bankrupt (but exciting) Las Vegas.

When I was doing Mormon Boy, I got a note from Mr. and Mrs. Kucan. They were in the audience cheering me on. They had been following my career. I was so delighted when we all went to breakfast one morning. And they had a spare care they generously allowed me to use. A convertable.

I love you Mr. and Mrs. Kucan for teaching me and loving me and giving me the approbation that I missed growing up. My parents did not know how to support what I was doing in the ways I would have preferred. But you two — and other teachers like Mrs. Neel, Mr. Hale, Mrs. Harrington, Mrs. Wali (Shireen). Gosh I was blessed.

I loved school. And someday I hope to make a difference in the lives of youth the way you did for me. I guess I can start with my kids. Mr. and Mrs. Kucan in their home

Stand-Up Comedy

Steven Fales — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 15:34:20 +0000

Confessions of a Mormon Boy began as a 5-minute stand-up routine at Caroline’s On Broadway after a workshop at the American Comedy Institute taught by Stephen Rosenfield. This class changed my life. I am looking forward to getting back to the mic and developing a new show (all stand up) called When All Else Fales.

NY1 Interview MORMON BOY

Steven Fales — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 16:49:27 +0000

Scouting for All

Steven Fales — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 21:18:48 +0000

I became an Eagle Scout when I was fifteen. It’s basically the highest rank in scouting. We were living in Las Vegas, Nevada. One of the many letters of congratulations came from U.S. Senator Harry Reid (D-Nevada). Even though the Scouting program is fraught with problems and is currently homophobic, I still believe it is an extraordinary experience for young men or I would not have encouraged my own son to join. My son is currently a Life Scout. There is an organization called “Scouting For All” which helps advocate for gays in scouting as leaders and as participants. The Boy Scouts of America. Half the BSA Troops in America are sponsored by the Mormon Church. That’s just a little bit of a conservative problem! But one I am still willing to work with and work around. Once we end “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” in the military, don’t you think Scouting will follow? YES IT WILL!

Brokeback Mormon — Wedding Pictures

Steven Fales — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 21:08:52 +0000

Here are photos from my first marriage. Actually my only marriage. Good times. Just providing archival evidence. I sang at our reception:

How long does it last?
Can love be measured by the hours in a day.
I have no answers now but this much I can say.
I know I’ll need her ’till the stars all burn away.
And she’ll be there.

(Theme from Love Story)

Our Engagement Announcement Photo. Look at that rock!

Sealed for Time and All Eternity. Married in the historic Salt Lake City temple on its 100 year anniversary 1893 – 1993.

Our fairytale wedding reception in the Empire Room at the Joseph Smith Memorial Building (Old Hotel Utah).

Original Utah Version of CONFESSIONS OF A MORMON BOY

Steven Fales — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 03:46:57 +0000

This is the original artwork for the world premiere of Confessions of a Mormon Boy in Salt Lake City, Nov. 24, 2001. We’ve come a long way, Elder!

This is a production photo from the original Utah version of Confessions of a Mormon Boy. This is the jailbird costume I wear with the pink triangle on the back. All homosexuals in Telestial Kingdom (Mormon Hell) wear this uniform.

The play drastically changed when I wrote my gentile version for New York City. You can read this version with all the Utah in-humor in the September 2003 edition of Sunstone Magazine. (Download the play: https://www.sunstonemagazine.com/magazine/issue-details/?in=130)

We are working on editing this original Utah version so it can also be downloaded. This version is Rated PG and is appropriate for parents and bishops. (The Off-Broadway Version is Rated R.) Perhaps this earlier version will do the most good for those within Mormondom. The Off-Broadway version is not necessarily written for Orthodox Mormons but for those of us who have been out in the trenches.

This is a scene from the Original Utah Version of MORMON BOY. This is the scene where I meet Heavenly Mother in the Pre-Existence! Watch out! She’s fabulous!

The Point Foundation — Lincoln Center Benefit Performance

Steven Fales — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 00:19:10 +0000

One of the highlights of my career was doing Confessions of a Mormon Boy as a benefit for The Point Foundation at Lincoln Center. Isabella Rosalinni greeted everyone as they entered the Mitzi Newhouse Theatre. Performing there was a dream come true. How ironic that the Mormon Temple towered across the street. I was told by one of the organizers that we raised $650,000 as a direct result of that evening. And I got to meet Chelsea Clinton and Judith Light! Among so many others!

The Point Foundation gives scholarships to LGBT youth who have been marginalized by their families and communities.

“Something About Me Will Always Be Mormon”

Steven Fales — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 19:30:14 +0000

Though I’m not longer a Latter-day Saint, something about me will always be Mormon.