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Am I Being a Victim?
By Steven Fales | July 24, 2010
I am not a victim. When I feel self-pity creep in, I have to remind myself of this. One of the personal blessings of telling my story is that I get to ask myself each time I perform Confessions of a Mormon Boy, “Am I living up to what I am saying?” The climax of the play is the following. It is my personal constitution. I have performed this now well over 500 times:
“Could I give up being ‘right’ about my stories about the Church, therapists, the gay scene, Emily, her parents, my mother and especially my dad? Could I stop being a victim? Something deep inside me said ‘Yes!’ And in that moment, I was free. Free to choose. I had millions of choices! I was free to stop looking for my father’s love and money in the penthouses of New York, free to stop self-destructing, and free to start cleaning up my messes . . . ”
Not being a victim is a daily choice. And thank goodness I’m seeing the wisdom in valuing progress over perfection. And thank goodness I have friends who will not allow me to be a victim for long. I cannot do this alone. Asking for help is the first step in not being a victim.
Topics: Confessions of a Mormon Boy | 6 Comments »
July 24th, 2010 at 12:06 pm
You are the asshole of the century.
July 24th, 2010 at 8:52 pm
I never heard of you until I was made aware of your horrible comments. I know there is no point in telling you what is so awful about what you’ve said because you are a nut case. I even watched a couple of your Youtube videos and you are pretty much the most disgusting, arrogant, Liza Minnelli wannabe I’ve ever seen. To brag about being a prostitute & drug addict when you have kids??? You’re a piece of shit! I am so embarrassed for your family! You act like you over came more then these guys who committed suicide. How dare you compare your disgusting life to kids who weren’t drug addicts or selling their bodies! They had character & morals you wouldn’t begin to understand!
July 25th, 2010 at 3:20 pm
…I stab you in the leg for whatever reason. There, you are a victim. Its a ‘history’ beyond your control.
Can you adopt a non-victimized attitude through self-actualization? Sure — but you are still a victim.
July 27th, 2010 at 3:17 pm
@sirald66, Would ya?!!!!!!!!!!!!
July 27th, 2010 at 6:26 pm
Steven,
I believe in the power of telling your story; it is one of the single most important ways you can empower other GLBT Mormons who are suffering. Empowerment negates victimhood. Don’t let the haters bring you down. Love speaks louder than judgment, self-doubt, and negativity. Keep on keepin’ on, my brother.
July 27th, 2010 at 7:29 pm
Steven, as someone who has been through recovery, thank you for telling it like it is. Based on these comments, folks not involved in recovery work just don’t get it. And that is OK, cuz we are powerless over others thinking. Accusing you of bragging about drug use and prostitution, never, not once, ever.
Dave, everyone makes life choices in order to deal. Now if the choice had been suicide, we would have been holding a candle light vigil for Steven rather than judgement and condemnation, praising his victimization. How sad, that we don’t honor and praise recovery and empowerment. Let’s see its been almost 11 days since the last vigil… do you have your candle’s ready? We are just about due for another suicide.